I need to get something straightened out in my mind, the urge, the inclination, the frequency of the premonition that I need to change my living situation to rejuvenate my life. If that means selling my house and downsizing my material footprint, then I expect to have confidence in my thinking that justifies the action will yield the outcome desired. Running from pretenses that mask reality results in taking your baggage of problems with you, and the cycle tends to repeat. My reasons for beginning a new life must demonstrate clarity and rationale in my decision-making process.

Two scenarios require evaluation and analysis:

  • What would remaining in this house look like?
  • What would selling and bugging out look like?

Remaining in house

Based on my spreadsheet analysis of finances, I’ve determined that my pension plus taking my SS benefits this year, after my 64th birthday, would provide income to maintain the house, put money in savings, and have funds for play and incidentals. I can thrive at living in retirement in this house.

While there are reasons and justifications—both fun and nurturing—for remaining in this house, I’m discovering my intolerance to noise pollution and exposure to the general population of suburbia to be on the rise, and it prompts me to consider selling and bugging out. I don’t like the noise, traffic, and congestion of suburbia—it’s no place to cage up a geezer with an attitude that tiptoes around the perimeter of misanthropy. I rise between 4:00 and 5:00 a.m., which provides me with one or two hours of peace before the machinations of Asshole-vill begin to deteriorate the calm of the morning.

Selling and Bugging Out

I believe my parents would approve of me selling and bugging out if that’s my decision. They would want me to experience happiness and live a life destined for discovery and enlightenment. RIP mom and dad, and thank you for being the fabulous parents of my life.

If I’m faced with capital gains tax on the sale of the house, then I need to sell before taking SS benefits to lessen my tax burden. My objective would be to purchase a land/house property to function as a basecamp and buy a rig for travel and boondocking. I had thought the idea of buying a land/property setup would anchor me to a locale and may cause angst if I found a property that calls for me during my travels. I enjoy what Oregon has to offer me, and though it may not be optimal for retirement, it’s my home and nourishes my spirit, and I believe it doesn’t present an issue.

The process of selling and bugging out is daunting, and the fact that strangers would be walking through my home perturbs me. My life is weighted down with possessions that need to vacate the premises, and that undertaking seems like a pain in my ass. Yes, I am whining, and I acknowledge it can’t interfere with my plans of wanting to begin a life on the coast, or in the mountains, and on the road.

I’m not running from any baggage issues of the mind; instead, I’m escaping the ecosystem of suburbia which I’ve outgrown and in which my intolerance has breached the threshold of no return.

Conclusion

I’ve made arguments for both scenarios, and it’s time to decide which one inspires me to revitalize my life with adventure and enlightenment while my body, mind, and spirit cooperate. I love my home and can see myself living out my life from the comfort of familiarity. But there is something inside me, gnawing, scratching, encouraging me to take a risk, to embark on a journey of life that will satiate the needs of the one, the boy inside the man who wants to explore his world with eyes widened and a heart filled with undaunted courage.

I’ve decided, but it will take time for my mind to fathom the enormity of making the commitment not only to myself but to the memories of my parents. Wherever I go, they go, and nothing can change that premise. Memories of this house, this home will form a catalyst to inspire the stories that lie in anticipation of my journeys, waiting for their moment of birth from the wilds of my imagination. Memories are contained in my mind, not in a structure. I will reflect back on this house with fondness as I rejuvenate myself on the Oregon Coast, or in a cabin on a mountain, and on the roads less traveled.

It’s time to bug out, Kenny—go get some!